I was hanging out with my friends in a Titty Bar the other day.

I was having a good old time - when I decided to ask my homosexually-inclined friend a simple question.

Me - So, Glen, what's it like watching naked women?

Glen - What do ya mean?

Me - Well - you don't do it very often do ya?

Glen - Not very often, no. If at all, I guess I'm a 'naked woman dancing on a pole while covered in buttter virgin'

Me - I've gotta ask - um... how do I put it?

Glen - Go on.

Me - Does seeing that *indicating woman standing on her head while pouring champagne in her 'flute'* give you a boner?

Glen - *big pause* Are you seriously asking me if seeing a naked woman gives me an erection?

Me - Yes.

*naked lady walks on over and leaps artistically on to the table with her legs spread wide open and proceeds to show us what she had for lunch, by fishing it out with an elbow-deep hand*

Glen - Fuck.

Me - Fuck.

*she leans back and I slap a twenty on her well oiled chesticles*

Me - Well she doesn't have a tackle and rod, but she does have a poo-dot. Does seeing that give ya wood? Fuck - it does for me.

Glen - So.. you like bum-sex?

Me - I LOVE bum-sex. Up the bum, no babies!

Glen - *in a sing-song taunting child voice* Some-one's a closet homo...

Me - I am not! I just love stabbing a shitter once in a while.

Glen - Same here.

After this enlightening conversation and five Jack Daniels rounds, I came to one conclusion about straight men and homosexuals:

We both like ass-holes.

Just like women.

Except we don't marry them, we just fuck 'em.

There's a song called "i'm in love with a stripper". I heard it the other day when I was listening to old fashioned radio. Lame.

Mike- I have a friend who is "gay" and he LOVES men, adores them is a better word. Anyway, he ended up having a 3 some with some hot chicks the other night and he said he enjoys it from time to time but that he thinks of men while he's doing it. . He also said that he loves the way women look and that he enjoys a woman's "you know what" (i'm at work so excuse the censored language). He said that every now and then he will have sex with a chick to get his fill and then go back to men. I then asked him if he ever thought he might be bisexual instead of considering himself "gay" and immediately he responded back by saying..HELL NO!

I'm at a loss. If I slept with chicks every now and then I'd think I was a lesbo or at the very least bi but eh...whatever.

There's no key factor when your pants are off.

Only one thing should matter. Who wins the race to orgasm?