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Bastardly News & Gossip: Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansen.....What the fuck was FHM thinking?????? Pics attached....

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      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2006 edited
     
    At the bottom of the news:

    Scarlett Johansson named prettiest ugly person..........

    Scarlett Johansson has been named Hollywood's most natural beauty by a new poll of members of the National Association Of Screen Make-Up Artists And Hairdressers. Kate Winslet was named second and Catherine Zeta-Jones came in third. Orlando Bloom topped the male list, followed by Jake Gyllenhaal and Johnny Depp respectively.

    Let this be a lesson to all you people out there. If you want to get yourself on a list of the top natural beauties, just put on 30lbs and look like you're supposed to be ugly.

    At the TOP of the news:

    Those pervs over at FHM Magazine recently conducted their annual “World’s Sexiest Woman� poll, and to no one’s surprise, the “It� girl of the last few years, Scarlett Johansson, takes the top spot, usurping the crown from Angelina Jolie. Read on for the complete list:


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    Coming in second in 2006 was Jolie, last year’s winner:


    Image hosting by Photobucket



    Image hosting by Photobucket

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    She was followed by:

    Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson, Keira Knightley, Halle Berry, Jenny McCarthy, Maria Sharapova,
    Carmen Electra and Teri Hatcher.


    TERI HATCHER?????????? WTF? ;p


    Image hosting by Photobucket


    Just stay on track with that obvious mistake that FHM Magazine made. Somebody, IE: The Editor in Chief, has a soft spot for Jen....thereby knocking Ange off the top notch she so well deserves.

    I dunno....this debate could get heated.

    Discuss.
  2.  
    just so ya know, on this subject, i saw this in newsday and WOW what a fucking joke...more than Scarlett being #1....KEIRA KNIGHTLY IN THE TOP 10?!?!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?

    The readersof FHM are closet homosexuals.

    but, i wrote to teh guys who run the site to maybe do a bastardly reader one. with some suggestiosn how to run it and score it and such, i know they are prolly mad busy, but maybe they will consider it.

    there was acomment when teh put up FHM's 05 list, and it was basiclly they took the Headline names and just developed teh list THAT way...sure seems they did that THIS year too, just look at the top 10.....TERI HATCHER?!?!?! ive never heard ANYONE on thi site even MENTION her name LET ALONE that she was attractive....Halle Berry too...cmon yall....didnt they liek have a list of people INSTEAD of just letting people submit names? thats a like, directed opinon poll....not free will....
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2006
     
    And what's with the really cool embossed metallic "S" for "Superman" on Teri's dress???

    Blehhhh.
    • CommentAuthorMoose
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2006
     
    Teri Hatcher looks so Jacko to me so often.
    • CommentAuthorThe_Chef
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2006
     
    Teri Hatcher is a MAN!!!!!!!!

    I'm always going to go with Angie as the hottest thing on the planet, but Scarlett is no slouch either. There's just something about her... Can't put my finger on it....
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2006
     
    She's very androgynous.

    Totally.
    • CommentAuthorMoose
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2006
     
    She seems so classically feminine to me. Soft curves and just a very... Renaissance kind of look to her.
    • CommentAuthorThe_Chef
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2006
     
    Wait. Who are we talking about? Scarlett is androgynous? How? Oh wait, you meant Teri huh? That's why Ryan Seacrest is smackin' it. He anals her while thinking he's with a tranny.
    • CommentAuthorNancy
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2006
     
    I personally think Scarlett is pretty,but nowhere NEAR the beauty of Angelina Jolie.
    Teri Hatcher is just fug.
    •  
      CommentAuthorMike
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2006
     
    I have masturbated to all of these women, and I'm proud of it.

    The last fifteen minutes as been a blur.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2006
     
    Ah, Mike, now I feel all cozy and alot closer to you now. :)

    Oh, and can you believe that Teri Hatchetface is bangin' uglies with Ryan Seacrusty?

    Zikes.
    • CommentAuthorMoose
    • CommentTimeMar 31st 2006
     
    I wouldn't doubt it - Seacrest will bang anything with a vagina (no matter how rusty) at this point, just to delay his coming out of the closet.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeMar 31st 2006
     
    No kidding.....is his name really on the Hollywood Walk of Fame??
    • CommentAuthorMoose
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2006
     
    Is it??? Holy god that is just abominable.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2006
     
    Sware. It was a joke on American Idol....because the contestants were joking with Simon, because he was "pouting". :P
    •  
      CommentAuthorMike
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2006 edited
     
    Seacrest? Ryan? Teri Hatcher?

    I'd so be banging her and getting her to call me Clark.

    "Who's your mild-mannered reporter NOW bitch?"

    And he is SO homo.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2006
     
    hehehehe. CLASSIC Mike. Classic.
    •  
      CommentAuthorMike
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2006
     
    I'm glad someone understands me.

    I even had a mild crush on her when she was one of the dancers on the Love Boat.

    She only talked in like four episodes. But it made me feel fluttery inside.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2006
     
    Jesus h mother of Joseph.......the LOVE BOAT????? How old is she????
  20.  
    i think , if hes refering to Teri, that she was on the NEW love boat? coul be wrong tho, cause she IS like 40 or something. but i know they did a new love boat in the 90's, like they did with the Twilight Zone in 86 and 99?
    • CommentAuthorMoose
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2006
     
    I liked Teri Hatcher in that terrible movie (I can't even remember what it was called) about a high school reunion or something... to the best of my memory she was drunk and almost belligerent the whole time.
    •  
      CommentAuthorjmcronshaw
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2006
     
    no teri hatcher was on the original love boat
    it aired till '86
    she played amy a love boat mermaid
    those last two i had to look up
    BTD
    love boat: The New Wave is the show you were thinking of
    aired from 98-99
    i love imbd
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2006
     
    Sheesh.
    •  
      CommentAuthorMike
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2006
     
    Yep, she's ancienter than Lisa Marie Presley.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2006
     
    How the hell did she end up as a Desperate Housewife?
    •  
      CommentAuthorjmcronshaw
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2006
     
    blowjobs
  27.  
    holy shit, cant believe she was on the ORIGINAL Love Boat. what was she like 18 or 19? thats just crazy!!!
    • CommentAuthorThe_Chef
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2006
     
    Blwjobs? Where?! Dammit. That's the second time I've seen blowjobs mentioned and I missed out.

    Le Sigh.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2006
     
    Le Blow. Le Poof. Le Fluff. Le....heyyyy!!!
    •  
      CommentAuthorMike
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2006
     
    Fluffer!

    *points*
  31.  
    personally, i dont think we talk enough about eating pussy on this forum, ive got alot of practice at that, and i think we should talk about the benifits of licking the sweet sweet lips of the vagina.
    • CommentAuthorMoose
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2006
     
    I'm down.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2006
     
    Yo. BTD. How yoooo doin'??
    • CommentAuthorjackson
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2006
     
    BTD - yeah....Moe and I have briefly discussed a Bastardly list... details coming soon...well, when we actually have time to talk a little more in depth about it.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2006
     
    Hey, J..........you two really need to go stand and interview on the Red Carpet.....seriously. ;P
    •  
      CommentAuthorMike
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2006
     
    That's right Moe - don't let second-rate journalism get in the way of good perving!

    Flipping FHM need a kick in the arsehole.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2006
     
    Yah. Yah. Yah.
  38.  
    thanks for considering my suggestion, while i realize that there would prolly be alot of people on this list id disagree with, i would be interested to see a list i KNEW was chosen by regular people like the ones that frequent the bastardly, and NOT think that it was only a fans list in "theory" like OBVIOULSY FHM did....i mean, some of those people, its like they are making sure they get future photo shoots or something, its like, cmon, Jennifer Garner? Katies Holmes? SARAH MICHELLE GELLER?!?!?! i dont even think she released a movie last year and the last one she DID Was fucking GARBAGE, "Grudge" my ass, Sam Raimi, dude, being teh guy who did "Evil Dead" is ONLY gonna go so far now. he TOTALLY fucked that movie up. if you have seen Ju-On you know what i mean, if you havent, go watch it, its TOTALLY different.

    yeah i think thars a GREAT idea about the Red Carpet...wouldnt you LOVE to see those 2 guys interviewing people at like the MTV Music awards? like asking tehhard hitting questions? LOL i love hilary duff, but, man, id LOVE to see the look onher face if they asked....

    "why is it in every picture we can see your knees they look like Raw Chopmeat?"

    as for me, yes, eating pussy IS my 2nd fav thing on earth, right behind Juliana Hatfield, and, slightly in front of the simpsons. hm. now i wish, after saying that this AM and, now, that i wish i was off tonight. fuck. now ill have to wait till tomorrow night to eat some. god daym work.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2006
     
    .....I'd be by their side swingin' that leeeeetle plasteeeak insult dog by a leash....

    'round and 'round he'd go....sans the cigar, cause I'd be smokin' it.

    ;P
  40.  
    LOL cigar in wrapper only right?
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 5th 2006
     
    No......the OTHER cigar.

    Of course BTD...the real plastic cigar that he smokes. haha

    Anyone gotta cuban?
    • CommentAuthorjackson
    • CommentTimeApr 5th 2006
     
    haha!... AB.... you make me want to shoot for the stars with the red carpet idea... i think i'd probably end up asking all the hot chicks for their number and all the whack chicks what the fuck they are doing there...

    ...and i'd ask jessica alba why the fuck she's with cash warren and not with me.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 5th 2006
     
    Then could we steal the insult doggy and run?

    That little plastic fucker thinks he's SOOO funny.

    He don't know funny yet.
  44.  
    u know what would be even funnier? offer tolight his ciga, and then pull out a blow torch and melt his sorry ass....LOL that puppet will be looking like a Rubber Dog Version of John Merrick
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 6th 2006
     
    ...nahhh...let's use a bic lighter and a can of starter fluid.

    That would get us noticed in Hollywood for sure.
  46.  
    LOL ok, as long as its one of those Stick Lighters
    • CommentAuthorThe_Chef
    • CommentTimeApr 6th 2006
     
    I love those stick lighters!

    You can get pretty far down the roach... I mean, they light my fireplace great!
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 6th 2006
     
    Ag. Who needs safety? We don't need no stinkin' safety here.

    It's my preferred method of killing those damn stray yellowjackets in my house. :P
  49.  
    dude, chef, LOL in the photo lab at my store, they have these clips they use to hold up the film, if i could tell you, i dont smoke all that much weed, but, dude, you get 99.9% of the roach smoked using that to clip it. shit is Crayzeee. i think there aliigator clips. work sweet.
    • CommentAuthorMoose
    • CommentTimeApr 7th 2006
     
    Can you roll me one of those Cowboy?
    •  
      CommentAuthorBeaner
    • CommentTimeApr 11th 2006
     
    roach clips... i prefer to unwrap the roach and smoke just the weed in my chillum. Paper is harsh on da lungs.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 11th 2006 edited
     
    I marinate a fat one in the neck of my "tabaccy" pipe for about 3 weeks, then BAM!

    It's droolin' time over the spinach dip and brie, my precious.

    Yesssssssssss.
  53.  
    out of curiosity, i have a question, if you fill a bong with something OTHER than water does that make a difference?

    Like, i dont smoke too much ok, i have, but never out of a bong, ok, once, but if you put like Vodka in there does it make a difference?

    of if in fact say like you put in Fruit Punch Gatorade, would that alter the taste?
    •  
      CommentAuthorBeaner
    • CommentTimeApr 12th 2006
     
    it would alter the taste but thats about the only effect... one time in like 9th grade we were smokin a bong for about 3 days with the same beer as the bong water. After we got done smoking, my friend was 'convinced' (peer pressured) that he should drink the beer, he drank it and got pretty wasted. but that shit HAD to be uber-nastaay.
    • CommentAuthorThe_Chef
    • CommentTimeApr 15th 2006
     
    You can't get stoned on bong water, come ON, that's stoner myth 101 bruddah

    :^p

    I think adding funky stuff to the water is a waste, at least I don't dig it. Besides, I dunno about you, but I don't want something flammable like vodka around a bunch of stoners with matches. *Whooooosh!*

    I have a little sherlock that I try to keep really clean. Soak that bad boy in ISO for about 10 mins and then rinse it. Like new!

    I made some brownies last night, the 'special' kind. Except instead of making ganja oil, I made 'kif' oil. 3x the strength of regular ganj oil. Holy crap. Made the mistake of eating 3 pieces and was f'd up for about 6 hours. Not fun while working. Well... It was fun, just not for everyone else hahaaa!

    Mmmm, boobies.
    • CommentAuthorThe_Chef
    • CommentTimeApr 15th 2006
     
    .....And as you can tell from that post I just made, I'm pretty ripped up.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 16th 2006
     
    I love to fill a bong with crushed ice (NOT smashed or shredded - melts too fast).

    Good freakin' times. Oh, yah.

    Mmmmm, booooobies.
  58.  
    we talking bout shit...remind me...

    to make jello shots.....

    its 2:1 ratio of Freezable liquid to vodka right?

    this girl i used to date was OCD about her bong, shed use it then wash it out as soon as she was done, and would ONLY use bottled water in it...

    wow... ive dated some freaks....
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 17th 2006
     
    .....ya missed me by a long shot.............

    You ain't seen freeeaaaakkehhhhhhh 'til you've had a night of the Libster.

    No brags. Just jus' de troof, boss.
    •  
      CommentAuthorBeaner
    • CommentTimeApr 17th 2006
     
    Oh yeah ice is the best. I like to put water in the bottom and ice in the top of the bong so you get that cool air when you get a hit. I didnt think Vodka was flammable chef. Hmmm, i know you can burn some everclear and even 151 but i dont think vodka has a high enough alcohol content to burn.

    Anyways, i am pretty much over the whole bong scene, i gots me a nice little glass chillum and only take about two or three hits of nuggets to get me relaxed. I dont do the stoned-out-of-my-gord thing anymore.
    • CommentAuthorMoose
    • CommentTimeApr 17th 2006
     
    I haven't dated freaks. I dated a serious loser once though. I found out after I broke up with him that he didn't even know Mississippi was a state. He thought it was just a river. I told him that he was an idiot, and ever since he's been trying to maintain this pseudo-intellectual persona to prove me wrong.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeApr 18th 2006
     
    Now I feel like a real numbnut. Truth: I actually thought a "jackelope" was an instinct species from Arizona/New Mexico.

    Along with that "Mer-Monkey".

    :P
    • CommentAuthorThe_Chef
    • CommentTimeApr 20th 2006
     
    It sure is Beaner. Well, it was. True vodka's were made from ethanol, now-a-days it's made from grains. You can still get a true vodka, but it's usually a polish, russian or... dammit, I forget...

    I think Solli is still made the old fashioned way, not 100% sure though.

    I gave up on bongs too, I like the sherlocks. But right now, I'm pipin' it baby. Back is killing me and I'm pretty f'd up already between the Oxy and 7 sessions today :^p

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