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Bastardly Conversations: Real Bastards touch themselves with both hands.

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      CommentAuthorMike
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2006
     
    Crikey, it's good to know that I'm in the company of some of the biggest wankers on the net. Even some of the women.

    Okay - so in between the bitching, masturbation and bastardly commentary - we have to consider one major thing:

    Our Health.

    The_Chef has been handing out excellent recipes for Sangria recently, and it seem to be full of all the neccessary Vitamins.

    Vitamins B, C, A, and Vitamin Alcohol.

    After reading his excellent recipe - I've decided that a bucket a day - will keep the doctor away.

    Here's how the daily regimen should go:

    Wake up.
    Log on to bastardly.
    Wank.
    Make bucket of Sangria.
    Wank.
    Drink 1/2 bucket.
    Go to work.
    Wank.
    Bitch on bastardly.com.
    Come home.
    Log on and wank furiously.
    Drink remaining Sangria.
    Kiss partner.
    Sleep.

    I believe this encompasses all aspects of life. Exercise, Intellectual stimulation, Work, and family life.

    Could it get any more straight-forward?

    I think not.

    Life is in a bucket my Bastards and Bitches, life... is in a bucket.

    *looks to the West and poses like a Messiah*
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      CommentAuthorBeaner
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2006
     
    Mornings are better spent with a bloody mary. Sangria is more of an afternoon thing. At night, straight Jack D.
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      CommentAuthorMike
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2006
     
    Bloody Mary, I can understand. Jack D? There's no nutritional content in it!
    •  
      CommentAuthorThe_Chef
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2006
     
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, dude. HAhahahahaa, I don't even know how to respond.
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      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2006
     
    .........it..........rubs the lotion in....and puts it in the bucket........it rubs the lotion in and puts...it in the bucket.........(whimpering)..........
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      CommentAuthorThe_Chef
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2006
     
    It rubs the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again!
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      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeMar 31st 2006
     
    .........wait a minute.............was that in the movie???? And whatever happened to Buffalo Bill's doggy??

    Arg.
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      CommentAuthorMike
    • CommentTimeMar 31st 2006
     
    *wanks*
    • CommentAuthorMoose
    • CommentTimeMar 31st 2006
     
    I'm with Chef, I don't even know how to respond. I will say that I'm giggling a little.
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      CommentAuthorMike
    • CommentTimeMar 31st 2006
     
    Well, so far, the diet has been going well.

    I'm three kilos lighter, and my skin has cleared up. Everyone thinks I'm easy going, (well, you'd be easy going to if you were full ot the brim with crank juice), and my missus thinks I'm the greatest lover ever.

    Bucket fo' life y'all!
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      CommentAuthorAB Libby
    • CommentTimeMar 31st 2006
     
    Lucky girl.
    •  
      CommentAuthorMike
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006
     
    No, she's not lucky, she's just eager.

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