So my cousin wakes me up at 10 (oh the horror) this morning asking if I will babysit her girls. She ends up locking herself out of her house and car, so has a girlfriend bring the girls (and the dog) to my house. And its got me thinking about my babysitting "skills" (or lack thereof).

1. Let the kids go wild on the kitchen--> seriously, give them WHATEVER they want from the kitchen. Cake, cookies, pie, candy, a jar of sprinkles. It keeps them quiet and happy and the sugar never kicks in soon enough for me to see the effects. That's all for mom and dad.

2. Have them come over here instead of me going over there --> Good excuse is that you are carless, but this works wonders, because they feel shy enough to behave and not fight with each other or cause trouble or make a mess of any sort.

3. Let the dogs run wild in the house --> provides a good distraction to keep them from talking to you.

4. Provide a sumptuous banquet of mini-pizzas, carrots and ranch, and apples --> keeps you busy for an hour preparing lunch and they sit quietly waiting for their food. Plus you get bonus mom and dad points for giving them fruits and vegetables.

5. Turn on cartoons --> Don't listen to what those foolish "educators" say. TV is GREAT. They go into a trance that pretty much prevents further attempts and verbal communication.

6. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT. This encourages conversation. That is a strict "no."

7. Throw out some paper and markers. Makes the parents think you are a responsible adult by giving them something "creative" to do. But LEAVE THE TV ON.

I RULE at babysitting. I'm like the best babysitter ever. Never had a single broken bone or even little scratch. After 10 years of doing it, they know better than to try to talk to me or get me to "play." I should make a career out of this shit.

That's a good point Glim. That is another thing I do. Let them put in any of their 5 billion DVDs. Keeps them quiet and to themselves.

All of this provides ample time to screw around on the internet instead of being a responsible adult. Its like a dream come true.

NYTimes Bestseller... Oprah book clubs... Pulitzer Prize. I'll be a superstar. Screw my "sales bitch" album. This book will be my claim to fame.

hahah... NO ONE wants to see that...

Haha... yes, babysitting is a strict set of non-variegated rules of which none of us should deviate - - - lest we want total child-tyrant chaos. I HATE babysitting. I hope I never ever have to do it again.

Pinchy, if you write a book educating us morons on the proper ways of child care I would TOTALLY read it.

keep the kids busy.....

*ha ha ha* :)

have i got a babysitting story for you:
when i was younger 7,8,9 years old we used to go to the devon horseshow and fair
and they had these games where you could win stuffed animals and things like that
so while my mom was watching the horse jumping i would bleed her dry of quarters till i won something
so after a few years i had quite the stuffed animal collection
well being a boy and getting older i became quite embarrassed of this
well one summer my parents were up in maine and my brother's girlfriend, now his wife, was babysitting me
i was around 13
i had a friend over and we decided it was time for the stuffed animals to die
so just to give you the layout of the home where i grew up we
i lived out in the country kinda
we had a bunch of land and a barn for my mom's horses
so my friend and i arranged the stuffed animals around the property in various states of "distress"
we pitchforked one to a bale of hay in the barn
hung one from a tree
cut the head off another
so my brother's soon to be wife finds all this stuff around and freaks out
she calls my brother and is like
"your little brother is sick he's like michael myers. He is going to wait till i fall asleep and stab me to death"
meanwhile my friend and i think it is the funniest thing ever
anyway she loves me now but i think she wanted me committed that night

Gah, pic is gone...

cadoras...isn't that the correct pic for your post ????

the pic wasn't showing.so i followd the url.and that was the pic that showed.so i sneaked the pic in.


uh did i blotch things ?????