he's in his late 30s?!

i say take him back only if he's got money.

He's got money but he's really cheap, must be because he's Jewish! The thing is, his twisted proclivity for barely legal girls is making me insecure now. Somehow, I feel that at 22 years old, I'm almost past my expiration date because he makes me feel like my only appeal is my youth and beauty. He had me when I was still a virgin and I think he gets off on that too. Please tell me not all men think this way!

one word:

pedophile.

Well, according to him I'm really something special. He tells me all the time how much chemistry we have and how I'm the full package. I'm a great girl, he loves to show me off, but he always finds a way to make me feel like I'm not girlfriend material even though I'm the best thing that could have ever happened to him. I think it's a way for him to control me. He's very good at mind games and at making me feel inadequate so I'll hang on to him or something.

To sum up his personality, I'd say he's selfish, very proud and very ambitious.

Thanks for your advice!

Hi Vesper. Welcome.

I've got to say that you should not let this bloke be an anchor to your own ambitions and status, and move on.
He sounds like he is leeeching the goodness out of you. You really don't want any part of that at all.
Not all men are like that.
And you will find somebody better. Someone who will be glad to be in your company for who actually you are, not who they want you to be.

Leave him to chase after people over half his age. It will catch up to him.
Soon.

but s. i read that once you go pencil sharpener you dont go back...

Vesper...Welcome!
May I just add that men that seek younger women usually have some complex of there own. Especially when he is telling you this stuff.
My best guess would be to say that he wants you to be on the defensive and only be thinking of your faults. That way you are distracted and don't pick him apart. Take a moment and stand back and see what he brings to the table. If he thinks you are the total package he may be worried about losing you. But by saying he wants you back because he loves you makes him vulnerable. Unfortunately his fear of vulnerablity is the one thing that is holding your potential relationship back.
It sounds like he may want to get serious, but is afraid of getting hurt......And then we are back to the part were he keeps you on the defensive and around and around it goes.
My best advice is to confront him on it and see if he levels with you. If not, move on and maybe he'll come back when he has matured.
Once again! Welcome.
PS No all men are not like this.

I think I am destined to be marriage counselor.
I'd rather work with scizophrenics. Seriously.
Note: I didn't mean that in a bad way. Scizophrenics just really interest me. I just happen to have a knack for the relationship stuff.

Plus 17 year old are still into that giggling thing and playing mind games with their new found sexuality. I couldn't stand 17 year olds when i was 17. I always dated above my age bracket. Actually I had a really great teacher who taught me everything you need to know about oral sex on a woman.....Now that is a course they should teach in college, because saying, "I like to eat out for ours at a time" is a great pick up line....Especially when you can back it up with experience and raw talent.
Thank you Gina...Where ever you may be. She kind looked like Miss Lady Kier of Dee-lite if you want a mental picture. Minus the 70's get up. Just imagine her in jeans and a black jacket and a white half shirt.....Mouth watering...have to stop. Have a good weekend folks!!

''She kind looked like Miss Lady Kier of Dee-lite'' ...
Cool.

i have older men asking me out a lot, prolly
cuz i work in the fashion industry, and
majority of them are owners or partners.
money = power.

as i have explained to an ex of mine before,
the way i dress (cleavage baring, hip hugging
get-up) doesnt really mean im a real slut--
ok maybe i am, for just one guy
at a time but anyway, work is work.
i earn money by visually "selling" myself.

i guess its hard for guys to accept that it is
just my job, cuz u kno, they can be mighty
"territorial" at times..

hence i dont have a boyfriend. and i have no
plans of having one anytime soon.

:)

**am totally aware this is off topic, but
WTH.

alot men are good at hiding things. i'm not, i end up smirking and looking away to laugh when i lie.

im just playing devils advocate here....im not being a dick, u havent been here long enough to know im not really like that, which is why im writing this sentence so you DONT think im just being an asshole....

so theres absolutly NOTHING wrong then with me going up to any of the 17 year old girls i see everyday at one of the delis i get lunch, get their number, and fuck the shit out of them? now rememeber, im not as old as thisguy was, again, im assuming from your time line he was MID 30's if hes in his LATE 30's now...

so, am i to assume by your situation, that me being a 32 year old man, there is NOTHING wrong, in anyway, shape or form, with me going and persuing 17 year old girls, be they HS seniors or 17 year olds that have graduated early? let alone a VIRGIN 17 year old girl?


i think that Chris Hansen might disagree

cmon, lets be honest, is this not EVERY pedophille's wet dream? a virgin underage girl who gives it up to them for the 1st time having sex?

to be honest, everyone knows i think Emma Watson is a sweet piece of ass, but, shes 17. given the CHANCE uh, i think id have to pass cause while i think shes a sweet piece of ass, and pretty much the only girl ive ever considered "jailbait" that ive been attracted to, theres things that are right and wrong....

even if you were 17 and looked 25, once he found out you were 17, he shouldve backed off being in his mid 30's, a normal thinking person would know better.

i realize this is in the past, and im not preaching even if it sounds like im on a soapbox, but, the fact that you also said something about he has a problem with girls that are getting older, the dude is prolly a pedophille, well i guess he IS one techniclly, but, he sounds like one of these days we might see him on one of those "To Catch A Predator" shows looking dumb trying to explain WHY its ok to have sex with an underage girl just cause SHE wants to....like chris hansen always says....just cause she wants to, it doesnt make it right.

The pedophile talk is debatable, but I don't think that will solve your problem.
I think the best thing to do to explain what you want from the relationship. First to yourself. Figure that out first....I double stress it. Second, realize that there are other fish in the sea and understand that this relationship may never amount to anything more than carnal pleasure....Which is fine, but don't be nervous about losing him.

I think than sitting down and talking to him about what you figured out about yourself, and what you want from the relationship.
You may figure out that you don't want a permanent relationship with this guy anyway.
Either way you need to set up boundaries during that discussion.
I think the best first question for him is:
What does this relationship mean to you?
Do you see this relationship going anywhere?
Are you happy with us just being lovers or do you want more?
I think from there you can gauge how you want to proceed. If he says, "Your a really good lay and I don't see any future." You don't want to be opening up your heart to him about your hopes and dreams.
The best conversation and relationship with this type of guy will happen if you work it slowly. Do you see us just having sex or would you like to meet my folks? This sort of question, may cause him to feel like bolting. Maybe, hey would you like to spend the day together hiking or at a movie or anything other than sex.
If he is afraid of commitment and is money driven there is another tact. You could also bring up that two people working towards a future is more lucrative and enjoyable. Getting tons of money is only fun for a while alone, but eventually you want to share it.
I say take baby steps with him. Have the basic conversation about where he sees the relationship going. If he is turned off by this it may be because he feels cornered.
The best way to negate that is to say you are on the fence too.
I could go on and on, but take it slow and realize it isn't all or nothing. You seem like you are getting something positive from the sexual side of the relationship. Truth of the matter though is that good chemistry doesn't always lead to a good relationship or compatibility....Testing the waters on toe at a time may get you a lot farther with this guy than jumping in head first.
But....Have fun....It not life or death. Enjoy the good. There are plenty of people in commited relationships that have horrible sex lives, so it's not all bad.

Also on the other point DC made. Any women, by doing certain exercises can strengthen the muscles in her "area". Women that have had childern do have a bit more to contend with, but they too can rebound to have nice tight hoho's.

i repeat.

pedophile

its so damn obvious.

hon, its not you, or your
personality. or even
your "beauty & brains"
its because
he gets off fucking jailbaits.

and guys, my feelings are hurt
since when did we start
the dear abby portion?
cuz if THIS will be the case, i dont
need to pay 150 USD a week
for some loony to sit there
and listen to me whine
for just an hour (or less)
when i could get the damn
advice HERE for FREE.

Eduardo, you just saved me five years of therapy. Thanks for taking the time and coming up with all this great advice. I'm usually very good at giving others advice but when it's for me I become hardcore dumb. I'll definitely do all those things you wrote, I've got nothing to lose. He either starts crying and begging me to give him one more chance or he admits that he's only using me for sex. Either way, I'll know for sure once and for all and I'll finally be able to move on.

DonkeyCock, that was funny! But fucking a 16 year old guy sounds very stange... which leads me to the whole pedophile talk.

Bluetoiletduck, yes, there's something wrong with pursuing 17 year old girls, even more so when you're 35 and you know the girl is 17 AND that she's a virgin. When the subject came up and I told him I was a virgin, he seemed more eager to get me in bed than ever so he really has no excuse. But as far as categorizing him as a pedophile...hmm, I sincerely don't think he is. I mean, to me a real pedo is a creepy old man who gets turned on by kids, not by a hot 17 year old girl with the body of a goddess.

That being said, if I were a guy in his mid 30s, I'd be dating hot women period. Regardless of their age. I think Melinda Clarke is smoldering hot and a million times sexier than say, Emma Watson or Hayden Pannetierre (who I both also like). But that kind of reasoning is exactly what put me in his bed. I'm attracted to hot men period, but knowing what I know now, I'll probably go for guys my age or just a few years older.

Glad I could help Vespar. Good luck! Hey do you know any hot 11 year olds? I kid.